One of my favorite food influencers, Karissa (Karissaeats) just made a post on TikTok about her celebrating 10 years with her boyfriend, Chris. I have followed Karissa since she lived abroad in China and watched as she traveled as a singer on a cruise ship then settling down in New York City. During that time, she maintained a strong and healthy long-distance relationship with Chris and moved in with him when she settled down. 

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In each of her anniversary posts over the years, she expressed multiple times how her and Chris don’t have any interest in getting married and that they are perfectly happy just dating much to the dismay of her followers. Her comments look the same: “no ring yet?”, “at this point, why are you still dating him?” and “you need to get married NOW”. But, why do they care so much? Why do people feel like influencer’s milestones are also their own?

Unlike movie stars who build their life out of the public’s eye, social media influencers show every step of their life. This creates a strong connection between them and their followers. That connection begins to feel like a close friendship, you know everything about them and their victories feel like your own and their struggles hurt you as much as they hurt them. 

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They have the same excitement looking forward to the influencer’s engagement/wedding as they do for their own. When the influencer says they don’t want marriage that can feel scary for followers because they may worry they won’t be able to find anyone if the person they look up to doesn’t go down that path, even if they are dating someone. On top of that, since the influencer isn’t blinded by marriage, viewers worry that they will eventually break up, leading to devastating heartbreak.

Modern day wedding culture has taken social media by storm. The bigger the wedding the stronger the connection right? The more people that attend the wedding the happier the couple will be right? What if a couple doesn’t want a big wedding or, what if they don’t want to get married at all? Does that mean they’re doomed to begin with? We read so deeply into an overpriced ceremony that we forget the deeper meaning. We forget the ceremony, and marriage certificates are symbols of love and connection but not the deciding factor. 

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We have been taught a single linear path which is date > engaged > married > have kids > become grandparents. We are told that we have made it in life when we settle down and have kids but is that really all there is to it? It also goes back to the linear path we’re taught. What does it mean if you skip the engaged and married steps? Can you still settle down and be happy? The answer is of course you can still be happy but that’s not nearly as interesting or appealing on social media. 

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As social media becomes more prominent in our lives, we view engagements and weddings as forms of entertainment and less about the connection. Viewers look forward to their favorite influencers planning big weddings so when someone says they don’t want that, what does the viewer have to look forward to? It’s yet another responsibility we put on social media influencers whether we’re aware of it or not.

I felt like this was an important reminder that we don’t have to follow a linear path to get to where we want. This applies to both navigating our love lives and building campaigns. Sometimes we don’t start with desktop research, we start by picking apart the product or sketching ideas. Sometimes we don’t want to get married but we still want a life long partner to build a family with. We don’t need to have everything figured out or follow a straight line, we just need to get to where we want to get to. I think that the idea of deviating from a path, despite what others say, helps us think outside the box and create a more interesting experience.