If you know me, you know that regardless of the social media platform, I consistently foster an algorithm that shows me some of the strangest things out there. Whether I’m seeing bad singers, diabolical plates of food, or simply someone with a loose grip on reality, I know I can trust that my next swipe will be just as entertaining as my last. However, there is one thing in particular that has been occupying both my feed and my mind for quite some time now. A community of people so polarizing that they’re never out of the spotlight for too long. 

Of course, I’m talking about reborn doll parents.

If you’re unaware, a reborn doll is a handmade art doll that is made to look as realistic as possible. They’re commonly made from either vinyl or silicone and filled in a way that gives them a realistic heft. The artist then hand paints the entire body, including the facial features and skin tone, before adding hair that is rooted into the doll’s scalp. Essentially, these dolls are crafted to look almost identical to real babies or toddlers (here are some great examples). It’s something I’d almost classify as uncanny valley, but honestly, they’re a step beyond that. They even look so realistic that a police officer once smashed in a car window to rescue one from its supposed demise in a hot car.

Well of course, they’re minors!

There is a thriving reborn doll community on social media, most notably TikTok, in which people discuss and display their collection of reborn dolls. The #RebornDoll on TikTok has almost 300,000 posts and the #RebornCommunity is just shy of 200,000 posts. These posts, dominated by experienced reborn doll parents, show these dolls going through daily routines, being taken on errands, and simply being shown off. Not only are they shown off, but they are woken up, dressed, fed, changed, played with, read to, pampered, and even given fake voices sometimes. Anything that parents of a living, breathing child do to further said child’s development is also done by these reborn doll parents with their dolls. 

In general, the sentiment in the comments of these videos is overwhelmingly negative, with people saying things like “what stage of grief is this?” and “smile guys, we’re in a documentary.” The majority of people see owners of reborn dolls as people going through some sort of mental health crisis or people who are just plain weird. There are also concerns that these people are coping with grief in the wrong way and confusing an unhealthy coping mechanism with an actual therapeutic outlet. That’s not even to mention the barrage of comments about overconsumption and how these parents are supposedly taking away resources from actual mothers and children in need. 

Look, I can’t deny that there is something a bit weird and unsettling about this reborn doll phenomenon. That’s the reason this subculture caught my attention in the first place. I personally can’t imagine having a photorealistic baby doll in my home without feeling an immense amount of dread at all times. But these reborn doll parents have valid reasons for owning these dolls. Some of them argue that they just appreciate the craft and detail that goes into these dolls. Others use them as a therapeutic way to deal with grief, anxiety, or the need for comfort. And for some people, these dolls simply make them happy. 

Is it really for the TikTok armchair psychologists to say what’s appropriate or inappropriate? Normal or abnormal? Healthy or unhealthy? Just because something might seem like a weird way to cope to one person doesn't make it ineffective. In fact, there was a man in China who made a life-sized doll in his dead wife’s likeness as a way to process his depression and grief through “a 3-D form of commemoration.” Ultimately, the man felt like he made a “full recovery” after two years and ended up discarding the doll. This is just one example, but goes to show that different methods of processing grief work for different people.

No. At the end of the day, what makes reborn doll parenting different from other forms of adult pretend play? Other communities, like LARPers, tabletop gamers, and cosplayers engage in similar versions of pretend play and receive much less vitriol in response. What is the difference? Maybe it’s the pure shock factor of seeing the uncanniness of many of the reborn dolls. Or maybe, because the reborn doll community is majority women, it’s misogyny bleeding through as it often does.

I think the reborn doll parents receive as much hate as they do because they’re easy targets. As someone hoping to make a job out of digging deep into subcultures like this one, I personally celebrate them. Is it odd? Yes! But I’d rather someone be odd than boring or destructive. Engaging in this sort of pretend play in their free time isn’t any more harmful than your local D&D party. It might even be less excruciating to overhear.